What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
