I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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