My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize