Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
