Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
