absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
