watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize