Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize