I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize