So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
