Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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