White coat. Heels.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
