You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
