I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
