1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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