oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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