I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
