It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
