Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
