I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I need help removing her.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
