I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just found puke in my bra..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
