All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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