i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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