At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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