Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
