Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
