yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
