Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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