There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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