She's JV to your varsity
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
