Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize