my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
