Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
