Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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