At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Can i not drive my cunt home
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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