I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So many bounce houses so little time
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
