I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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