Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
...so i touched it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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