kristin has been a bad kristin
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
