is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
