If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
