Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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