Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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