Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I am naked and annoyed.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
