They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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