IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
