how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
