Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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