My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
