Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
