he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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