Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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