I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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