I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
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