corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
His hands were made for my vagina.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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