she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
