so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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