First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
