can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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