I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize