just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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